


how could we ever know?

by ibrokeeverything



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Character Study, F/M, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:48:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25681561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ibrokeeverything/pseuds/ibrokeeverything
Summary: "In Rinde. The djinn. Those words, those simple words, tumbled in her head, repeating over and over. Nothing else needed to be said. That was enough. Enough to bring her world crashing down around her."A short little introspection for Yennefer after Rare Species on losing Geralt and their love that wasn't real.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Comments: 8
Kudos: 18





	how could we ever know?

_ In Rinde. The djinn.  _ Those words, those simple words, tumbled in her head, repeating over and over. Nothing else needed to be said. That was enough. Enough to bring her world crashing down around her. Coupled with the knowledge later gained from Borch, that she’d never be able to have a child, she bore a weight heavier than any she’d ever carried. Even in Aretuza, it hadn’t felt quite this heavy, this hopeless. The two things she cared most about had been torn from her hands in one smooth motion.

Rinde. It was where everything went wrong. It really was a fine town before Geralt arrived. Life was simple, perhaps a bit tedious, but entertaining enough whilst searching for a cure. The people were kind and grateful for her work. The town had everything she needed on a day to day basis. It was average, welcoming enough, and most importantly, functional. Cue Geralt, the White Wolf, storming in unaffected by her spells, carting along a dying bard. He served his purpose well at first, she had to admit. His company was pleasurable and he did well as a pawn. But whatever that damn wish was ruined it all. The djinn, her last true chance to get a child, was cast away at his command. That was her only chance to get everything she ever wanted, and it was at his hand that it was wasted.

That morning, and everything after, was an illusion. She thought he had made her feel things she hadn’t felt in decades. Romance had been stomped out of her life long ago. When one lived for lifetimes, they grew tired of mediocrity. Courting was a waste of time. Most men were so far below her level, they weren’t worth the effort. She’d given up the pursuit of such fruitless endeavors in favor of ones of a more targeted nature. If she could find a way to have a child, she would have no use for a man. When it was born, she would be its whole world. She would be the only thing that mattered to it. She would finally have her dream. But the first time Geralt smiled at her, she thought that maybe she really could have everything. 

It was almost frightening, the speed with which she found herself growing attached to him. Waking up, all alone, in a house torn to rubble, hurt far more than it should have. At her realization of his absence, her heart dropped. She hardly knew this man, yet she found herself missing him, craving his presence. As much as he frustrated her and drove her mad, he also provided a deep sense of contentment that reached into her heart. The everpresent roiling chaos was quieted to a simmer in his company. There was simplicity to him. He just felt right, no matter how hard she thought about it. He clicked into place, another piece of the puzzle her life had become. Crossing paths had become a pleasant surprise and welcome distraction amongst her grim life. But, of course, all good things come to an end. 

All the good and warmth turned sour as soon as those words hit her.  _ The djinn.  _ Everything she felt was false: a lie. It was a beautiful nightmare crafted from magic. The realization hit with overwhelming force, stormy anger tangling with despair and betrayal. The bright memories were plunged into shadow, warmth stolen away by a frigid cold. It was all his fault, Geralt. The anger was easier than loss. Lashing fury didn’t sting like the latter did. She yelled and fumed, storming off with tears pooling in her eyes. But as the minutes went on and the anger ebbed away, only the hurt was left. 

She shouldn’t feel the pain, for it too was fake. How could she grieve for a lost love that was never even real? Yet, the ache that settled in her heart was all too real. Perhaps, what fueled the ache the most, was the thought that it could be real. What if her feelings really were true? What if she hadn’t been compelled by magic? What if they had something real, despite the magic? But, unfortunately, she could never know. That wish stole everything from her. She couldn’t even trust her own emotions anymore. Her traitorous heart yearned to wake up at his side again, to feel the warmth of his skin or the steady, slow beat of his heart. She wished to speak to him in length about everything and nothing, gazing into yellow eyes softened by a smile. 

However, the world hadn’t been kind to Yennefer. It was a cruel and punishing place, but there were a few bright spots. A small few people had managed to make her life better, bring a smile to her face. Over time though, they’d all disappoint. Maybe, when you knew someone for decades, they were bound to let you down eventually. Now Geralt too, was added to the growing list of people who’d disappointed her. But disappointed wasn’t quite the right word for what he did. Disappointment was softer, less encompassing. Disappointment was being stood up or being disagreed with. Betrayal felt more accurate. Someone she thought she loved and trusted, so thoroughly destroyed a relationship so important to her. As much as her heart pleaded to see him again, she knew there was no way it would work. There was no way to trust her feelings now, making it impossible to have any form of love for him. It was an unknown. And the unknown was dangerous. 

Their fate was written as a tragedy. A crossing of paths warped into a love never meant to be. It was broken and shattered, damaged beyond repair, all set into motion by one little wish. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! It may be a little messy, but I had fun trying to get in Yennefer's head amongst the aftermath of Rare Species. Here's to hoping they get together in season 2!


End file.
